capitalchan | An Anonymous Text to The Watch

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An Anonymous Text to The Watch

TO ANYONE RESPONDING TO THE UCLA SINK HOLE DISASTER:

I am sure I speak for many when I say that this catastrophe has thoroughly shaken us all; so many lives needlessly taken and innocent souls harmed. What I offer now is a chance to make something good come of the tragedy. Should any of you explore to the bottom of the pit (as I predict your natural human curiosity will likely lead you to do), and you find any strange artifacts or unusual leads as to its origins, I encourage you to contact me and turn them over to my care at once. As a man of science, I intend to plumb the depths of this mystery in the hopes discovering the source and stopping it from ever happening again.

I will be waiting to hear from you all.

[[The bottom of the message is signed with a contact email hosted from a private source.]]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Well this seems super trustworthy and not at all sketchy.

Would that I could prove the sincerity of my intentions, I would *gladly* do so. If you have no interest in my offer then you can just simply ignore it and leave the life saving to more proactive individuals.

Letting us know what you plan to do with anything found/why you're the best person to have it would probably be a good start for proving your sincerity?

Well how am I supposed to tell you what I'm going to do when I don't even know until I see what is found down there? Honestly.

Oh, I...guess that makes sense.

Still, why you and not idk, condor or someone?

Why should CONDOR have a monopoly on helping people? That's ridiculous. When it comes to contributing to charity the more the merrier, correct?

I just mean they have the resources to deal with weird shit. Labs, and stuff. They probably have info on the old sinkhole too so keeping all that stuff together would make sense, right?

Ah. Your point is... considered.

That sounds like you're expecting more than dirt to be at the bottom of these sinkholes. Er, and whatever fell into them, of course.

And it sounds to ME like many of the people on this network are already suspicious of the circumstances surrounding the occurrence of two ridiculous geological anomalies in such a short span of time. Conspiracy theories are flying left and right, between robots and aliens and alien robots (which is an ABSURD concept, truly). Is it really such a stretch to predict that there may be something unusual at the bottom?

Yikes, defensive much? In my experience, it takes a ridiculous topic to catch attention. I'm pretty certain that most of the ones that replied weren't being serious about the conspiracy stuff.

I wasn't at the sinkhole personally, so - I'm more wondering if you're thinking that because there was something significant left behind at the first one, that might be part of a trend? Or is it more a case of just hoping that something will be there?

If by hoping you mean reaching a logical conclusion, yes. Or at the very least, we have some responsibility to investigate, no? There was not much of a chance to the last time, as I hear it. It is a mystery that remains unsolved, and now is your chance to gather clues.

I'm guessing you meant 'you' in the general sense. Well, you'll find no argument from me. It is an opportunity, and if you have the equipment to analyze whatever's found, that'll be extremely useful.

I do possess many resources for analyzing any procured evidence... so your agreement on the matter is appreciated.

Are you a scientist or something?

Scientist, strategist.... My talents are many fold.

And humble, too. Be still, my beating heart.

It's difficult to detect sarcasm through this form of communication but I'm going to assume your sincerity in that statement and inform you that I am not interested.

Don't worry, that was definitely sarcasm.

In that case, watch your tone.

Or what, you'll sulk at me?

If a little sarcasm bothers you, you probably shouldn't be hanging out on the internet.

You're one to talk, taking everything I say so personally! And I will "hang out" wherever I damn well please, thank you very much.

Says Mr. or Mrs. Defensive over here.

Fine, but don't say I didn't try to warn you.

Edited (wrong img HTML) 2014-02-07 22:37 (UTC)

I do not understand why there is a.... dog.... on this message board..... what do you want, fur beast?

Would someone else care translate for me, I do not speak mongrel.

If you are pawing at your face in embarrassment for yourself then you should put that nose of yours to good use and find me some artifacts. Honestly.

Well of course you aren't going to get any sort of reward if you don't assist!!!

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

An Anonymous Text to The Watch

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LAUGHS BECAUSE I ACCIDENTALLY ANSWERED THIS ON NEKU'S ACCOUNT FIRST WHOOPS

[Text] oh gosh that's okay!

[this entire account has nothing but default settings and pictures]

He says this as if a giant robot on the message board is normal

Giant robots can type, at least...

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Ammy thinks you're terrible at this, Starscream. Be ashamed.

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He doesn't get it AT ALL

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