TO ANYONE RESPONDING TO THE UCLA SINK HOLE DISASTER: 

I am sure I speak for many when I say that this catastrophe has thoroughly shaken us all; so many lives needlessly taken and innocent souls harmed. What I offer now is a chance to make something good come of the tragedy. Should any of you explore to the bottom of the pit (as I predict your natural human curiosity will likely lead you to do), and you find any strange artifacts or unusual leads as to its origins, I encourage you to contact me and turn them over to my care at once. As a man of science, I intend to plumb the depths of this mystery in the hopes discovering the source and stopping it from ever happening again. 

I will be waiting to hear from you all.

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