[This post is in broken English, and in a voice heavily accented with Alternian.]

Okay hi. Um.

Your...earth has alien robots in it. It has Cybertronians. One of them steal me a bit.

They gone now okay. But they kill you, maybe, if they do.

Sorry.

So about those crystals from the Fowler sinkhole...

Has anybody else been experiencing any...transformative anomalies with them? Because I think mine hatched into something not of this universe.

And on the subject of the tabletop game, there may be a slight delay in my preparations since they kind of made a nest out of my planning documents.

[Timing wise this is slightly forward dated to after Feferi moves in.]

[The voice channel to the Watch comes on with the sound of Alternian swearing. There is a harsh chitter and a hiss before anything resembles English starts being spoken. When it is, it's broken, clumsy, and heavily accented.]

I need search woman. Computer woman. Human maybe.



...

Thank.

[Someone's posted a link to a recorded video message to the network. Slightly blurry, it's focussed on a single grey figure, who is far too close to the camera to be seen clearly until she takes a couple of steps backwards, when it resolves into what anyone who's seen one can identify as a troll, between the skin, the yellow eyes, and the obvious yellow horns curving up out of way too much black hair. She looks off-screen at something out of frame, and smiles, revealing a whole lot of very pointy teeth.]

On? Go?

[There's a weird bubbly sound to the words, almost a chirp underlying them, and a weird glubby glottal stop before some of the es. Someone says something in response, although it isn't clear, but it must be confirmation, because the next thing that happens is that the figure straightens up, looking seriously straight into the camera.]

I am Feferi! Come to Earth. Lost... fronds? Looking. One like me but yellow.

[Something inaudible off-camera again]

Friends. Not good with words. Important L-EAV-E M-ESSAG--E IF S--E-EN!

[The language changes, to something much more alien, recognisable as Alternian to anyone who's heard enough of it to recognise it.]

(H-ELLO! This is Feferi! Someone glubbed they heard someone who looked JUST LIK-E SOLLUX was seen in...) Los Angeles? (That's a really weird name! If anyone who knows me sees this video floating around, L-ET M-E KNOW IF YOU'R-E ALIV-E! I might not be able to stay in one plaice for long, though, so leaving a message might be a good idea! I hope it was you, Sollux. I've been looking for you for AG-ES!)

[She steps forward and to the side, and the room behind her is a little clearer; it's what clearly used to be a very sterile lab, although now there's a lot of mess everywhere, mostly broken lab equipment and some amounts of what might be blood. A TRIDENT symbol is clearly visible on the wall, before the feed cuts off and the video ends.]

 
Are we planning on doing anything about the joker posting on The Watch about wanting to collect materials from the UCLA sinkhole? I know we haven't had the tightest security on it so far, and I can't say I'm complaining about not having to babysit a hole in the ground. But now we have some anonymous "man of science" hellbent on collecting as much shit from the hole as possible. 

The phrase "as a man of science" never leads to something that altruistic. 

-- Thrace 

So. Where are all the conspiracy theories over who took out an entire exhibition of conspiracy theories? Come on, this should be a goldmine.

First person to go 'I'm not saying it was aliens...', please smack yourself and pretend I did it. The harder the better.