TEXT- #THE WATCH

[superball]

Los Angeles, I have a truly incredible story to tell you!

It all began a few years ago, in the distant city of Saint-Tropez. It was there that I saw the most MARVELLOUS car I have ever laid my eyes on; all sleek lines and smoked glass, with a glossy, deep red finish that glimmered in the summer light! Why, I simply had to walk up to it and compliment its owner on his flawless taste in vehicles.
I made a fast friend that day, but our meeting simply could not last forever. And so we said goodbye and both went on our way, sadness tugging at our hearts!
But when it drove away, the light struck the windshield in such a way that I realized...

The car had been empty all along!!!

Imagine my surprise! Even more surprising still is the fact I actually saw that car again, on numerous occasions! I'm quite the traveller, you see... From Spain to Greece, from old Rome and its monuments to the bustling streets of London! Wherever I went, I would always catch a glimpse, a furtive glance of this mysterious vehicle!

Ah, but you must be wondering why I'm telling you this story. The truth is... I saw this car again today, in this very city! A talking, gleaming sports car, following me across seas and continents... This can't be a coincidence. Fate is at work here, my friends!

Surely some of you must have seen it? It's quite unmistakable!

[Insert one of Eusine's trademark shitty photos here. It's actually not that blurry for once, but it's pretty much impossible to make out any details beyond "this is a perfectly ordinary-looking red sports car that is probably in no way a giant alien robot".
Really useful, Eusine.]

Comments

[starscheme]

Curious.... I do have to wonder what exactly a car would even wish to speak to a human about. What sort of line of conversation did it pursue?

[superball]

Car things, of course! This is why I had approached it, after all. I learnt quite a bit about the different types of finish during that conversation.

[starscheme]

That's.... intriguing. Where did you last see it?

[superball]

Hah! Could it be you, too, seek this mystery vehicle?

[starscheme]

Curiosity dictates that I at least catch a glimpse of it, yes.

[superball]

It wouldn't be much fun if I simply told you where I last saw it though, would it? Where is the sport in that!

[starscheme]

Sport? Where am I even supposed to begin if I have no leads. We all have to start somewhere.

[superball]

You know the car is in the vicinity of Los Angeles now, don't you? I assure you, I have found legendary creatures with much more nebulous leads before!

Ah, but this requires a certain amount of skill, of course.

[starscheme]

If you're trying to manipulate me by insulting me, that won't work.

[superball]

Insult you? Dear god, no. I am merely saying tracking mysterious happenings requires a certain finesse that isn't often found in people who hide under cover of anonymity on the internet.

[starscheme]

I'll have you know that I am an excellent tracker. It's essentially my job!

[superball]

... And yet you can't find one distinctive car without being spoon-fed leads? Pardon me for being dubious.