capitalchan | text post to the watch

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text post to the watch

HEY, HAS ANYONE SEEN ANY ALTERNIANS AROUND THAT ARE NOT ALL THAT TALL, LIKE, I'M NOT SAYING SUPER SHORT OR ANYTHING JUST A BIT ON THE NOT TALL SIDE, WITH HORNS THAT ARE KIND OF

NOT ALL THAT POINTY, OR LONG. KIND OF ROUND I GUESS BUT NOT IN AN UNDIGNIFIED WAY

AND OKAY BEFORE ANY OF THE TRAILBLAZERS ON HERE START GETTING "REAPHOOK YOU'RE DESCRIBING YOURSELF" THIS GUY IS AN ADULT AND HE WEARS A FRANKLY NAUSEATING AMOUNT OF BRIGHT FUCKING RED AND I SWEAR TO GOD I KEEP SEEING HIM OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE WHENEVER I GO OUTSIDE AND IT'S STARTING TO FREAKING ME OUT.

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Yeah, so? [ok that IS kind of dubious and weird. BUT HE KNOWS WHAT HE SAW! he attempts to take an authoritative tone.] I'm a superhero, that kind of weird ass bullshit happens to superheroes basically all of the fucking time.

Okay but if he's you from the future why don't you just like. Tell him to fuck off or ask what he's doing or something.

If I try to talk to him he just abruptly fucks off. [with mounting frustration] Why the fuck would you think I hadn't tried that already??

I dunno I've never been stalked by my future self before.

Have you tried turning it on and off?

Oh my god, I swear if you weren't a fucking invalid I would punch you. Anyway who says it's my future self, it might be ... [eeeennghh] ... some other guy, fuck, who the hell knows.

Some other guy that looks like you and is wearing your blood color? That would be pretty fucking messed up.

[He's quiet for a few moments, frowning to himself.]

I hope it's your future self maybe he'll give you winning lottery tokens or something.

[go to hell Sollux]

Well it could be like ... [uncomfortable! pause!] my ancestor or something.

L O L. Yeah right.

[He's obviously taking that as a joke.]

[sighs, fidgeting a little, obviously thinking over whether to get into this...]

... Look, I have an ancestor, okay. And apparently his matesprit is back from the fucking dead so why wouldn't he be.

[While he's mostly just been sort of idly chatting up till now, this gives Sollux pause. He looks up at Karkat, confused.]

...What?

Fuck you, bullshit.

No, it's true.

[he ALMOST PAUSES... but lets face it proving Sollux wrong has already won out over this shit being too embarrassing to tell him about so here we are]

... You know the trolls I told you about who brought me here? You know, the weird cult guys who follow this ancient guy's forbidden writings about peace and love and shit.

[Sollux just stares at him.]

Uh?

[karkat rolls his eyes.]

Okay, well now you do, because I just told you again, that's how I ended up on Earth, because these fucking cultists who believe in goodwill to all trolls found me and brought me here for fucking safekeeping or whatever, because I'm the descendant of their god damn prophet, alright.

[he kind of makes it a point to get that out quickly.]

[Sollux just keeps staring, though it's not out of cluelessness. He's letting that sudden proclamation sink in.]

[He clenches his fingers into fists.]

And you're just bring this up now?

[karkat looks earnestly surprised, and only a little bit guilty.]

... Yeah, well it's not the kind of thing you just bring up in casual conversation.

[He stands up at the table, glaring at him, his fists on its surface.]

And what the fuck about anything I've been doing here has been casual? Was it the invasive surgery or the seed-fucking suicidal depression?!

[leans back, defensive]

Oh right, because filling you in on this irrelevant bullshit was at the forefront of my fucking cogitation filter when I was freaking the fuck out about whether you were going to die, wow, how could I have been so inconsiderate as not to regale you with some uninteresting historical trivia instead of trying to convince you not to flip your nook blistered shit in crowded public spaces!

I don't know, maybe commiserating or some shit! Maybe making it feel like I wasn't the only one who was a fucking freak!

Okay, dude, no offence, but if I was dealing with the shit you are dealing with and some jackass came up to me all like "well I'm sorry about your heinous torture but it turns out my ancestor was some historically significant seditious pacifist" and thought that was in any way relevant I'd be kind of fucking insulted.

I've been here for like a whole fucking perigee you nook-mangler! No time, right? Just like there wasn't any fucking time to tell me you were a mutant the entire trip here even though that was the reason you were leaving in the first place! How fucking irrelevant!

[his ears fold back a little at that, threatened] What – my blood is none of your fucking business, okay –

Yeah, because you have the fucking leisure to hide it!

SO?? You would too if it was this!

Not from YOU!

[YELLING]

Why the FUCK NOT??

[count down until someone flips this table]

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