TEXT- #THE WATCH

[superball]

Los Angeles, I have a truly incredible story to tell you!

It all began a few years ago, in the distant city of Saint-Tropez. It was there that I saw the most MARVELLOUS car I have ever laid my eyes on; all sleek lines and smoked glass, with a glossy, deep red finish that glimmered in the summer light! Why, I simply had to walk up to it and compliment its owner on his flawless taste in vehicles.
I made a fast friend that day, but our meeting simply could not last forever. And so we said goodbye and both went on our way, sadness tugging at our hearts!
But when it drove away, the light struck the windshield in such a way that I realized...

The car had been empty all along!!!

Imagine my surprise! Even more surprising still is the fact I actually saw that car again, on numerous occasions! I'm quite the traveller, you see... From Spain to Greece, from old Rome and its monuments to the bustling streets of London! Wherever I went, I would always catch a glimpse, a furtive glance of this mysterious vehicle!

Ah, but you must be wondering why I'm telling you this story. The truth is... I saw this car again today, in this very city! A talking, gleaming sports car, following me across seas and continents... This can't be a coincidence. Fate is at work here, my friends!

Surely some of you must have seen it? It's quite unmistakable!

[Insert one of Eusine's trademark shitty photos here. It's actually not that blurry for once, but it's pretty much impossible to make out any details beyond "this is a perfectly ordinary-looking red sports car that is probably in no way a giant alien robot".
Really useful, Eusine.]

Comments

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[magicgasm]

wasn't there a Weekly World News article about this?

[superball]

This is *completely* different! My story is a first-hand account, not some hastily written tabloid filler!

[magicgasm]

no way I totally saw this one a couple months ago, maybe it's talking about the same thing??

check it out

transfarmers... oh god

[superball]

Well, I suppose they *could* be referencing a similar phenomenon... But really, I wouldn't put much stock in what tabloids say! How many times I have tried to follow their leads, only to end up in a dead end!

[magicgasm]

You'd actually be surprised how many times the source of these things are half imagined retelling of things that actually happens. Of course, as they say, the devil is in the details.

(an anonymous post)

[starscheme]

You are quite certain there was no one driving it....?

[superball]

Absolutely sure. No man, woman or child was manning the wheel, that day! Merely the glare of the setting sun on the driver's seat, as the car disappeared into the distance~

[starscheme]

Curious.... I do have to wonder what exactly a car would even wish to speak to a human about. What sort of line of conversation did it pursue?

[superball]

Car things, of course! This is why I had approached it, after all. I learnt quite a bit about the different types of finish during that conversation.

[starscheme]

That's.... intriguing. Where did you last see it?

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[chapterfiveversenine]

Did you make physical contact with the false driver?

[superball]

I can't say I did, no. We carried the entire conversation through the window- I merely figured it was because the man had the AC turned on (what a sweltering day!) but now... I know it was because there never was anyone inside!

[chapterfiveversenine]

It was likely a hologram or other illusion. The car itself may be sapient.

[spitemancer]

Is that common here?

[chapterfiveversenine]

Are you referring to holographic technology or sapient vehicles?

[superball]

I was more thinking along the lines of ghostly possession, actually. For the automobile itself to have a mind of its own... why, I have never heard of such thing in car technology!

Unless... a prototype, perhaps?

[chapterfiveversenine]

Any sufficiently powerful computer can host an AI, and vehicles are easily constructed or modified with onboard computers. Humanity rarely has access to sufficiently advanced AI technology, but it is possible that it was developed in secret or of non-Earth origin.

[hellacold]

is this supposed to be scary

[superball]

No it's not! It's a true story!

Don't you have anything better to do than mock me?!

[hellacold]

it sounds like creepypasta. I thought it was

[superball]

Please. I'm fairly sure that if it were a creepypasta it would involve a LOT more blood and severed body parts. These things are always so shoddily written!

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[rentaswag]

Yoooooo you saw them tabloids too?? I thought that was just guerilla marketing for a new Will Smith movie!

[superball]

I didn't need to see those, my friend! It *happened* to me!
Really, I doubt tabloids would have been able to have an ENTIRE conversation with a sentient sports car!

[rentaswag]

NO WAY!!! Man, that is DOPE. What did you guys talk about? Where did it come from? Is it at all interested in wearing a cape over the rear fender?

[superball]

We didn't talk about capes... but I suppose we did talk about car fashion, in a way.

Maybe there is business to be made in the superhero car finish department!