[ audio ]

[buffthis]

[ The transmission comes secure on a neutral Cybertronian frequency, directed to Ratchet. ]

Ratchet, is it? The Autobot CMO? I'd heard you were on this planet.

I want to see if you're taking patients. I need some medical assistance, and I've heard you're very good. Maybe we can meet sometime to discuss it further.

Comments

[asafepairofhands]

[It's a little while before Ratchet responds.]

I don't make a habit of taking patients whose names I don't know.

[buffthis]

[ come on, Ratchet, don't you know it's rude to keep people waiting ]

...Mm, fair enough. Knock Out.

[asafepairofhands]

[Don't you talk to him about rude. There's another pause while he checks exactly who Knock Out is.]

Knock Out, huh? And what could the highest-ranking Decepticon medic on the planet possibly want with me?

[buffthis]

Why, a meeting of the minds, of course. My rank doesn't have anything to do with this. Rather, I've got...a problem or two that I can't solve on my own, and as it turns out, I'm the only Decepticon medic on this planet. I could certainly use your expertise, and I'm sure something could be worked out in terms of repayment.

[asafepairofhands]

Yeah? 'Something' like what, exactly? Before I agree to meet you in person in an as-yet-undisclosed location, probably alone.

[buffthis]

Nothing I'm willing to discuss in much detail like this. Don't worry, I wasn't thinking we'd meet quite so up close -- but our avatars could have a much more discreet conversation, I think.

But tell me -- what do you know about brain surgery?

[asafepairofhands]

[That gives Ratchet pause.]

...I know enough. Are you physically damaged, or is it something a little less immediately dangerous?

[buffthis]

Nothing quite so urgent, no. But I had something done to me some months back that I want undone. That's about all I'm willing to say over this frequency, though. The details are...sensitive.

[asafepairofhands]

Well that's comfortingly vague.

...where were you thinking of meeting?

[buffthis]

[ sssscore ]

The city is a nice, neutral meeting ground, don't you think? Plenty of witnesses, if you find that reassuring. And we can be plenty inconspicuous with our alt modes.

[asafepairofhands]

[ughhhhh]

Yeah, all right then. Send me the coordinates and be there in an hour.

--> action

[buffthis]

Well, aren't you accommodating. I'll be there.

{ Knock Out sends the coordinates and sure enough, his avatar's waiting around on a park bench, looking bored and impatient, but most definitely an avatar if someone were really looking. Knock Out's alt mode is parked not too far away, but well out of sight. ]

[asafepairofhands]

[Ratchet's the same, his alt mode tucked safely away a half-block around the corner. He's alert as he scans the park, but it doesn't take him too long to locate Knock Out and sit down next to him, his lips pressed into a thin line and his optics narrowed.]

So? What's such a huge secret that you have to contact an Autobot and then can't talk about it on the neutral secured line you used?

EMAIL TO NEWT GEISZLER;

[buffthis]

[ fucking hell knock out cannot believe he is actually doing this ]

You're the human doctor who specializes in alien life forms, right? I've heard you're good. I'd like to find out just how good.

Know anything about Cybertronians?

[kaijugrrroupie]

uh well that totally depends on whos asking

but cmon i wouldnt be earths top xenobiologist if i didnt know something dude

[buffthis]

A Cybertronian is asking, obviously.

I'd like to offer you a chance to put your skills to the test.

[kaijugrrroupie]

not that i dont wanna but you guys have a medic right?

why cant he help you out?

[buffthis]

He's not the only doctor on this planet, you know. And unfortunately, I can't exactly operate on myself.

Not that it's any of your business, but we aren't exactly friends. The situation is complicated. Something to do with thousands of years of civil war.

Are you going to help me or not?

[kaijugrrroupie]

yeah but

it doesnt make any sense for you to come to a human instead of sucking it up and going to their medic

[HE'S SO NOT SURE... but still.]

whats wrong anyway?

[buffthis]

Let's just say it's not an option and leave it at that. Trust me, I wouldn't be going to a human unless it was my last resort.

[ seriously newt you think he wants to do this? ]

One of your kind did something to my brain. I want it undone.

[kaijugrrroupie]

[the reply comes a little late, like he's been weighing up his options. Really he's been shooting an email to Ratchet, but he's had no response, but he's not going to pass up getting a look at a Cybertronian brain.]

id have to take a look at it before i can know if I can help or not

you guys have brains that are mostly alien coding right?

[buffthis]

All brains are made up of coding, when you get down to it. It just depends on what kind of coding. And naturally it'd be alien to you.

[ well look who's suddenly an authority on all galactic life forms ]

But yes, I suppose given our mechanical nature, it would be somewhat analogous to what you call programming.

[kaijugrrroupie]

no i mean like programming instead of actual tangible organs and stuff

[he eyes his emails again, and not having heard back from Ratchet yet.]

i can have a look but im not making any promises

[buffthis]

Of course I have organs! Have you never seen a Cybertronian brain module? And you call yourself an expert on xenobiology! How do I know you won't lobotomize me by accident?

[kaijugrrroupie]

yeah but not organic ones is what im saying!!

and excuse you man there aren't exactly a lot of cybertronian cadavers going spare

do you want me to take a look or not?