[This goes up sometime after this happened and Metabee managed to drag himself back to CONDOR. He looks like crap. His left arm is in a sling, both arms and a good portion of his torso are dented, some of the metal buckled in completely. A lot of paint has been scraped off, revealing the gray metal underneath. What paint is still there is gouged and scratched like he'd been thrown in a rock tumblr with a bunch of razor blades. One of the gun barrels on his arm is missing. There's a crack in his visor, and he looks pissed.]

YO! Just got back from a patrol, I need everyone to pay attention. There's a new supervillain out there that is definitely stronger than your average Lizardman or Professor Polaris or any of those guys. I don't know if anyone has run into him yet, but this guy is bad news! I did some digging and I think he's calling himself the Iron Dragon or something. Dude's got some sort of weird obsession with dragons.

Stats: 6 ft tall, ridiculous amounts of anime hair, black coat. He can turn his skin into metal and also do this weird thing where he breathes pieces of metal at you like some sort of flamethrower except with knives. I think he might have super strength.

[At this point Metabee leans closer on the camera, banging his one working arm on the desk]

DUDE ALSO EATS METAL!! Middle of the fight he just grabbed this iron bar and ate it like a giant churro! So if you're a robot or cyborg or use a ton of metal weapons I'd watch your back around this guy.

He looks like this, if anyone spots him take him down hard! Dude needs to be put in his place.

[He snatches up a piece of paper and holds it in front of the camera. It is a colored pencil drawing of said dude.]( Image Below )

[ HEY TRAILBLAZERS, it's your favorite alpha force hero, lina inverse! she is your favorite, right? whatever. the petite sorceress is looking in good spirits, sitting back with her arms crossed over her chest, eyebrows raised. ]

So I know you kids don't get to do a whole lot of real action that often -- and Celestia's been nagging me about leadership skills -- so I've got a proposition for you!

[ she leans forward, wagging a finger. ]

Who wants to go on a crime-fighting field trip? Chaperoned by yours truly!

[ grimlock looms in the background, stomping a foot down so hard it makes the camera jitter, and he roars "ME GRIMLOCK GO TOO!" ]

That's right, kids, a crime-fighting field trip with the A-list Lina Inverse and her magnificent pet robot dinosaur! Sign up quick, spots are limited!

Yoooo!! [Someone certainly sound excited.]

Guess who's back! That's right, your favorite crime-fighting robot. The junk with that AI is in the past and I'm better than ever and ready to put criminal punks in their place. Don't be looking for me with the Trailblazers though, Metabee's gonna be taking on the streets solo from now on. [There's a pause.] Other than CONDOR stuff, obviously, but that's different.

Please tell me I didn't miss anything too awesome while I was gone. I was off the grid for the past month or so, someone fill me in on what's happening around here.

I am an extraterrestrial who arrived on Earth recently, and I have been informed that I should contact an organization known as CONDOR in order to make my presence here fully official and legal by this planet's standards.

If anyone can inform me of how to go about that, good; if this will suffice, that's even better. The point is, I fully intend to act on as legal a level as possible here, and I understand that this group's cooperation will be necessary for that to happen, which is obviously why I am making an effort to establish communication with them as soon as possible.

Assistance, direction, or direct referral to a CONDOR agent would be appreciated.

-- Myaxx

[She really needs to find a better way of doing this than just dropping messages somewhere and hoping they're found by someone useful. She also needs to get better at pretending not to be incredibly shady and illegal, but that might be harder.]

 To Whom it May Concern,

Knock Out. Breakdown. It has been brought to my attention that TRIDENT's eye is still on the reacquisition of their escaped experiments – specifically you, Breakdown, and your Alternian pet. Having spoken with them, they seem to believe they have some kind of right of ownership to their ex-test subjects, and are offering a bounty to anyone who can retrieve what they have lost.

As I would prefer not to allow Decepticon forces or technology to fall into TRIDENT's hands, I recommend caution in any dealings with humans – and they do make an attempt at recapture, your orders are to eradicate them... with whatever force you deem necessary.

Hey, this is Miko Nakadai! So if you've been paying attention around here you probably know that not that long ago I got an internship at the LA Times, which was awesome at the time! You may also know about all that weird musical crap that happened in LA, and how a bunch of heroes (and one badass journalist) totally went and solved the hell out of it

except oh wait no you might not have heard it like that, because CONDOR and the Times are claiming we lied. Which is total bullshit.

Here's the thing: We all know what we saw! That crystal crap was all over the place, we had to break the door down because of it, had to break Swansong out of it, and oh yeah remember the part where it fucking attacked us (those cuts hurt for days fyi).

And it's not like we don't have evidence here - we've got pictures okay, nobody can say I don't do my job.

(inb4 some smartass decides to start shouting PHOTOSHOP, you're not a frickin detective you're just a smug asshole, and a smug wrong asshole at that)

idk if this is an actual attempt at a cover up or if they really do think we're lying, but seriously guys, spread this around. Why would we even make this up?

PS, don't even try to tell me the Times is neutral here either, the whole thing is framed like Swansong was actually responsible. Seriously, the subheading has the word "thwart" in it.

[Attached are a number of photographs (somewhat shaky and clearly taken with a cell phone, but pretty clear considering the circumstances under which they were taken) from the incident, displaying the outside of the building as well as a few images of the crystal-littered interior and one of the room in which they found Swansong.]

[Then she puts links to it on a bunch of social media sites because why not.]